Friday, October 31, 2014

Scenes for Halloween



A huge hay roll, black paint and a Walmart Greeter!!
Yep, right at the entrance to Walmart,
but I don't think she'll keep the job after October 31.
Unless she becomes the Grinch..
That could work.


How about Ballard Park Ducks in costume...
This one puts on his wig.
Beethoven, obviously.




Night of the Walking Duck!!
Warts and and evil eye at your door,
Forget the Raven evermore!
Trick or Treat, Trick or Treat,
Give ME somethin' good to eat!!



Oh, forget it...you think you're sooooo funny.

this is all anyone ever gives me....
Quackers.


P.S.  This duck was not harmed or ill in any way,
this is how they always look!
Yes, there's a lot more than one.
Bring more Quackers.



Let's take a look at the Classic Car Show..
Cars dressing up...
The Dragon.

Casper the friendly 280Z Mazda.

Bonnie.  Or Clyde.



Why look, there's sweet Raggedy Ann...
Huge eyed, hair wacked out, grinning like a lunatic...
Adorable.
Looks like a piece of Raggedy Andy in the other seat.

Do NOT touch her hand.


Say hi to Happy Skelly at the drive-in.
Nothing to worry about here...not trying to be adorable,
he knows his part in the show!!
He DOES need to eat though...he's skin and bones without the skin.

P.S.  You know you're in the deep South when 
there's a Coke and a rifle in the same picture!!


And this one needed to get out of his skin...er...shell.
He's naked out there,
Now that IS creepy.


Hey, we can check out the little County Fair.

Cue the dark rain clouds to roll in.
Cue a little thunder to roll in.
Hey, did anyone tell Lightning to show up??

Oh, it'll show up since we have a Metal Lightening Rod in the sky!!


Okay then,
let's have a foggy morning.
No fog machine required.


Compare to a clear day back in January.

Don't worry about the black smoke,
a bio-diesel tank had just exploded like a bomb away across town.
Yes, really.  Our windows shook.
No  one was hurt, school was canceled for the day and they rebuilt the thing.
I trust that, right??!!


Okay, let's look at that view in the evening...
Hmmm, there seem to be a lot of leaves on that tree on the right.
But the date stamped says it is the middle of winter.



NOW CLAP YOUR HANDS
AS LOUD AS YOU CAN!!!

They're NOT leaves!!


Alfred Hitchcock LOVES when you clap your hands.
Why did you do what I told you?!!



Okay, back to the foggy, weepy day...

We'll walk out the front door and look to the right...

WOW.


Look at those tie lines on the Mississippi State University sign.
Great engineering.



We'll move in closer...

Closer....



In your face close...

 Take a deeeeep breath...




Nope, I never did find the spider who spun this masterpiece.
In case you thought that's what the next picture was going to be.
You'll have to imagine it.
Sometimes that's better than the real thing.
Sometimes not.
Don't walk through the web.
Boo.


Now let's go all traditional...
An uncarved pumpkin.


And what NOT to use to carve it!!

I speak from experience...
See where it says "Now with STRONGER TOOLS?"
HA!!
Back in the day when my best friend and I carved 10 to 15 pumpkins 
every Halloween (oh, yeah!), we used sharp knives and potato peelers.
One year we thought it might be easier to use store bought plastic carving tools.

They all shattered!!! 
$1.99  totally wasted.

Apparently this is better plastic...bwahahahaha!!


Now the Traditional Black Cat.
 Resting on the edge of the hearth.


Waiting for the sun to set and plunge the world into darkness...



Hope you had fun with my Halloween Scenes from around the year...
Any month can be October!!


Hmmmm, what's going on next??
Pretty soon you'll be balancing the moon on top of your Christmas tree!

Thanks for joining me here in cyberspace.
Until next time, laugh as much as possible,
and always look for the best camera angle!

Sunday, August 17, 2014

Our Stage is Open



In the very back of our property is the stage.

There is no wooden platform for the performance, no chairs or bleachers for seating.
The audience is YOU at home.

It's only obvious to the woodland folks who wait all year long for the sign that it's open.
And what sign is that?  No, it's not big, neon or blinking...

It has to do with the center piece of stage scenery...The Pear Tree.


When the Pears become golden, the sign 'OPEN' is out
and the performers start to arrive.
 Edible Pears of Gold.
No fake wax fruit.
It's how we pay our Performers.


Now, if you out there at home will be very quiet....the show might begin...

 YES, Our first performer has arrived!!
Can I believe my eyes?
It is the one, the only....
Doerothia of the Woodlands Dance Troupe.
 Her friends call her Doe.

Please hold your applause until the end of the dance.
Here she's going into her trance...
by counting the pears over her head.

Allright....lights please....

 WHOA!!
Deer in the headlights!!
NOT funny, turn them down....



Thank you.  Don't let it happen again.

Doe begins her performance of the beloved Woods Ballet.....
 Variations on A Partridge in a Pear Tree
(uh, you can guess what the VARIATION is, right?)


She does not perform The Nutcracker Suite..obviously.that is for squirrels.
All performances are done Au Naturale.
No one wears a TuTu.
Doe does not need to, too.
(Polite laughter is encouraged for the silly jokes of the announcer.)

Doe: That was too-too funny.  See me laughing.


 She now prepares for her last dance routine...
Total concentration...complete quiet please...


 Wait for it...

She springs up, buries her head in the leaves and...

Oh my gosh, she's balancing on just one leg!! 
 
Applause!!  Applause!!



Doe curtsies to her internet audience.

She realizes she is hungry and will eat her payment now.

The Golden Pear is hers.


She munches, content in the knowledge that her internet audience
is ready for her final show-stopper...


  Listen to this....

She opens her mouth wide to belt out her Christmas hit:
 "On the last day of Summer
My true love gave to me,
An audience and a lovely Pear Tree!!"

Show's over.
Time to leave...


That's the end.


Exiting stage rear.


But wait, don't you out there at home leave yet...


Now that the stage is empty,
the raucous Crows arrive to squabble about their next show.
AND to eat the edible pears left behind by Doe.
No sense wasting them.

What will their next show be????
Totem yells,
"How about a Native American Crow Pow-Wow?"

Edgar suggests,
"How about a dramatic reading by Russell Crow?"

Russell The Crow, it turns out, is at a cornfield and can't be reached.

"A reproduction of that Hitchcock film...The Birds, except that
we turn everyone into Zombies?"

Barishnikov leaps up with, 
"The Black Swan?"
But since he's the only one with formal ballet training,
his idea is put aside.


Hmmmmmmm.....(or nom nom nom...)

Consultations continue...until...
Joe in the back suddenly stands up straight and stares towards the Pear tree.
"Hey guys, does anybody else see that furry thing by the tree??"

Bernard, who needs glasses  and sees everything as blurry, says,
"Dude, I see it. I really do. Over there... HEY  I've got this one....

"Look at me, I found another gray hair!"


Another Grey Hare.
Grey IS the new cute!!


The Crows never did make a final decision,
they ate everything on the ground
and flew away screaming, "CAW, CAW, CAW!!"



Thanks for joining me at Our Stage, hope you had fun!!  
See you next time....

P.S.  Yes, there's a grey hair in every Crow picture...click on the pictures to check!